Life Happens. Deal with it.

Maybe I'm just bad at this. It's the consistency that kills me. Or maybe, despite the fact that I have many interesting things that are happening around me, I still don't believe that I have anything interesting to say. I've actually had several ideas for posts. There was supposed to be one that went into how life is never going to be hard enough to make you quit. And then there was one about having to bite the bullet and getting your hands dirty. And finally the one I was going to write this morning would be a self-reflective piece about what it takes to be a part of a team. So I will write all three. Deal with it.

It's hard to see potential in someone and not force them to live up to it. I guess this is what parents have to go through on a daily basis. Having a slightly more removed view and not being face to face with the challenges that come up make it unreasonably easy to imagine a solution. This is not to say, of course, that the envisioned solution is actually the correct course of action. Because sometimes life is so much more scary than the people around you can believe. We all have our own fears - places that we refuse to go, steps we cannot take - that may seem completely irrational to those around us. And I get that. But this is real life, not Room 101. There will always be support. Someone to hold your hand and tell you that there is a purpose to the process. That coming out on the other side of the bridge is worth the risk of making it across. I am here because I believe in life. I believe in its ability to take care of me. Some people would ascribe my feeling of well-being and trust in the future to some sort of deity, but I simply have faith in life itself. Life, as far as I've seen it, has never given out more than can be handled. And when it has, people die. That sounds unbelievably harsh. But I believe it. Strength of will. It is why some people survive and some people don't. Or maybe I'm meandering.

Or maybe not. Because life is not always perfect. Things happen. Awful things. Sad things. Amazingly joyful things. But if you keep your eyes open, it is a mixture. Because some days will be good in the morning and end up being terrible nights. It's all about fortitude. Sometimes we have to handle things we don't want to or are not ready to handle. Sometimes there are hard choices to make or leaps that are not one hundred percent certain to land on solid ground. I don't particularly enjoy being the bad guy. I don't like telling people that what they are doing is wrong. It tears my heart into small and unmanageable pieces. But sometimes you have to. Sometimes you have to go to the places and do the things that you don't want to do because when you come out on the other side you are stronger. You are polished. And I guess that's supposed to make it worth it.

Is that my worth to a team? The guy that isn't afraid to keep running until he drops because he trusts that the coach knows what he is doing? I was told recently that my contribution is a warmth that makes people feel comfortable. Unfortunately, I have a bad habit of turning that warmth off in order to get people to take me seriously. But now that I see the habit, it is changing. Because I am devoted to the journey. Maybe one day I will have my own project to run, and I will do everything that I can to make sure that I am ready.